Some practical advice from a father to his daughter who prepared to move out before she was ready

Dear Ross – my teenage daughter has signed an apartment lease – help!

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From: Angie
Sent: May-02-11 8:08 PM
To: Daddy
Subject: In a pickle…

Hi Daddy,

I need to ask you a really big favour. I got myself into a bind. I don’t know if I have mentioned this to you but I was seriously considering moving to Ottawa for September. About 2 weeks ago, I was sure of this, but being me I am now hesitant on the actually doing it.

Here’s my issue, Sammy has already signed a lease for May – till April I believe, and had to write $4000 worth of cheques to the owner of the apartment. At first I agreed to this, knowing full well that I would be paying for the duration of the summer. It’s $500 per month, but there will be sub letters from May to August, meaning I really would only be paying $200 per month and getting $300 back each month from May -August.

The first cheque is due tomorrow and I really cannot afford it, Sammy is putting a $100 towards it so the remainder is $400. I wouldn’t ask you for this, really because I want to be more independent, but my indecisiveness is making me seem irresponsible and I am now affecting others as a result.

I would really sincerely appreciate if you could give me the $400. And Sammy will be trying to get the sublet money by the end of the week or the beginning of next, so I would be able to pay you $300 back asap, and the remaining $100 I can give you with my next pay cheque.

I know this is a lot to ask.

Love, Angie

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DAD WROTE

From: Daddy
To: Angie
Subject: RE: In a pickle…(please read the WHOLE message)
Date: Tue, 3 May 2011 08:43:59 -0400

Honey – I know you only want to see a one word answer that solves the problem, but this time I cannot give you that answer.

Now before you get all upset and do something rash (like a visa cash advance) PLEASE read on and try to absorb what I say below.

First, I’m not just your daddy – I am an older guy with tons of life experience who has and will survive just by solving problems and finding solutions and drawing on all my knowledge and failures and successes to make good decisions (not all the time to be sure, but my batting average is pretty good)

I want you to feel comfortable enough with me (as I do with YOU) to confide in me and ask me and seek guidance etc, before you do something major – not so much as your daddy who may or may not approve but rather someone whose opinions you trust and who can add something to your thought processes.

About your situation – it was a bit hard to follow – and no, as you probably know, you have not said one word about this before to me – it sounds like you are saying…

“Sammy and I decided to move to Ottawa and rent an apartment together for a year. For whatever reason, it is his name on the lease – the lease starts May 01 2011 to April 30 2012

The rent is $500 per month. My plan is to join him (or move in) in September. Till then, the place has been sublet (by Sammy? Maybe by the owner of the apartment?) We are supposed to pay the rent till then, and get back the sub tenants’ $300 per month”

(Maybe I have it wrong, maybe Sammy just signed a lease for you and it’s only you planning to move to Ottawa Angie)

“Anyway, I (we) don’t have the money for the first month. Actually we don’t have the money for any future months.

Worse, I am not sure – in fact I am pretty sure I do not know if I still want to do this (move to Ottawa)”

You see Angie, it’s not just a $500 problem today – this will be a recurring problem for the next twelve months – potentially a $6,000 problem – which is very serious money.

So, given the fact you no longer intend to go to Ottawa, I feel you should not even start to fix this money problem – it is better to say screw it now, and don’t go down this road. Try to get out of the lease agreement.

The fall out (financially) does not have to be that bad – yes Sammy’s name is on the lease, but practically if he does not assume the lease, the landlord will simply find another tenant (they must do that by law) and chances are all will be forgotten.

Sammy would advise his bank to put a STOP PAYMENT on ALL the checks he has written. Otherwise the landlord can continue to go into his bank account randomly to see if any of the checks can cash. (This step is VERY important)

The place, you say, will be sublet for the next four months – so the landlord will receive partial rent – they have LOTS of time to find a tenant for September. They will only be out $200 times 4 – $800. For that money, they will likely just swallow hard and move on. Possible they would start a small claims court action – but from experience I can tell you it’s not worth their time and expense.

BETTER they have an $800 problem than you (and Sammy) have a $6,000 problem.

I am ok to sit down with you (and Sammy) if you wish to discuss what I am saying and what can happen – this maybe hard for you to understand here – but again, my opinion is you guys should do nothing – let the checks bounce and don’t make decisions like this again until you are ready – financially and emotionally and practically.

I feel pretty strongly that my advice (from what I understand from your message) is good advice – and that you will only be making a bigger stressful mess for yourself if you follow through with your plans.

I can talk on the phone anytime. If you wanna get together – it would need to be after school.

Much love and DON’T PANIC

DAD

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SHE WROTE

Hey daddy!

Sorry for my late response, please don’t think I was angry with you or anything like that,
just a whole lot is going on right now!

I completely understand everything you are saying, and realize that you know a lot more
about this than I do.

I’m just stressing out right now.

I’ll see/talk to you soon!
Love Angie

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